I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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