I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
