Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
