porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
