Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize