Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
COCAINE IS GR8
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
