I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
