Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize