I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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