You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
