maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
