if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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