6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
