I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
