so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
