i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
where does the pee come out of this thing
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
