Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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