herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dick very happy bro
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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