I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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