I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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