Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
