So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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