standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
