I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize