why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
