can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Randomize
