She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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