i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
whose ass print is on the piano?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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