Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
