You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
