There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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