Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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