So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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