guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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