the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
