He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
