you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
