...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize