the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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