Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
