She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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