HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
