She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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