birth control should be required to get into college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
