Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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