laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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