Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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