I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
