Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
