I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
can u get pink eye on your cock?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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