if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
