It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
