Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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