if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
