I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm at about main and main street
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
