This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
