Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize