So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
