All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she smelled like a LAN party
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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