but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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