found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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