everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
