they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
