I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
