Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
