he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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