You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize