You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
