carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
