It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
