is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
