thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
