I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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